Summer days.

This is going to be the first summer since Tyler has left on his mission. Before I knew him, my summers were just as great as any summer could be. But then I met Tyler, and he changed my whole world. Summer without him isn't going to be easy. Almost unbearable. Until Tyler, my mom was a pick and choose kind of person about when I could hang out. If I hung out with friends a few days in a row, then I needed a break for a day or two before I could hang out again. But when I started dating Tyler, I was with him all day every day. Literally. We'd be together by 10am during the summer, and we'd be together until 1am late that night. Now that he's gone, I still feel like I'm in school mode. Without the school part. Instead of waking up bright and early for class, I sleep in. When I finally do get up, I'll get some breakfast, lounge around and finally shower by 2. Get ready for the day and then go to work at 4 until 9. Then I come home for the night, eat some dinner, watch a movie with my mom or play around on the computer. And then I go to bed. It's a cycle. An unbreakable cycle. Ok, not unbreakable. I'm going to start setting my alarm so that I'll wake up earlier and then I'm going to start exercising and get my day started earlier. But really, how am I going to survive this summer? It's not even going to be fun. How is it summer if you aren't enjoying yourself? I mean yeah I hang with some friends occasionally, but they all have their boyfriends around and their jobs as well. I guess you never realize how badly it sucks to be alone until you are, and nobody can seem to fill the empty feeling either. And the fact that Tyler says "I'll talk to you on Christmas babe." on the Mother's Day call. That's not like saying, "I'll talk to you tomorrow." That's freaking 7 months from now!! Ugh, come home soon baby. I miss you.

A year ago today, I graduated from high school. Isn't that crazy? I feel so old.